Jamie looks good naked!!

In an attempt to impress his new husband Jamie has enlisted the help of former fatty, Gok Wan. Gok, 33, is the host of the TV show "How to look good naked", in which he helps fat people to look good by lying to them about their appearance and using various methods to trick men into thinking women are better looking than they really are.

After just 3 days into his new marriage, Jamie was worried that the 'spark' had disappeared from his relationship and thought this might be due to his lifelong battle with his weight. This is where Gok came in. By dressing Jamie in vertical stripes and using the latest advances in support pants made from Dyneema®, the world’s strongest fibre™ he was able to convince his husband that he was in fact not a fat bastard. The episode is due to air on Channel 4 on 4th November 2007.

Jamie is not alone

Following reports that Michael Jackson had married his Nanny it has now emerged that he has in fact entered into a civil partnership with none other than Jamie Spencer. Details of his new martial status were obtained by the National Enquirer who printed copies of the singer’s real estate documents. The papers allege the singer states he is married, although this is currently only recognised in 5 US states.

The two lovebirds made their happy union official over the weekend at Wandsworth registry office, with Ian 'H' Watkins stepping in as best man. They then headed over to the Richmond YMCA for the reception which was attended by a host of celebrities including Richard Fairbrass who was on hand to perform "You're My Mate" for their first dance as a married couple. Luckily for us our photographer was hiding in the bushes outside the registry office and managed to get his shot of them leaving the building.

D'you wanna be in Jamie's gang? Probably not....

Jamie has always been one to stand up for anyone that he believes has been wrongly accused, and Gary Glitter is no exception. As a life long fan of Glitter's music Jamie was shocked to hear of his imprisonment and has made it his mission to free the Glam rock star.

Jamie is currently organising his appeal against the charges of Child Sex Abuse in Vietnam. Glitter was tried on charges of committing obscene acts with two girls, aged 10 and 11, and was found guilty as charged and sentenced to three years' imprisonment. Jamie believes he has now uncovered evidence that the girls lied about their ages and were actually a father and son aged 67 and 44 from Clacton-on-Sea, Essex and were posing as young Vietnamese girls in order to trap Glitter.

However, it has come to our attention that the evidence consists of a poorly spelt confession, written it red crayon in what appears to be Jamie's own handwriting and a pair of heavily soiled underpants which appear to bear no relation to the case whatsoever. Anyway, we will wait to pass judgement but it seems that Jamie is fighting a losing battle.....

Pet Shop Jamie

Jamie has long had a close relationship with the Pet Shop Boys and he has been the influence for many of their greatest hits. The song "It's a Sin" was actually a reference to Jamie's Abasiophilia a condition which he struggled to come to terms with for much of the early 1980's.

Unfortunately, Chris Lowe has been unable to fulfil many of his commitments to promote the upcoming album, Disco 4, but thanks to his intimate knowledge of the material Jamie has been able to step into his shoes with very little disruption. Parlophone Records have kindly allowed us to publish the following photo of Jamie and Neil Tennant.

I wish I knew how to quit you...

Sorry it has been so long since the last update, at this time every year Jamie takes some time off from his job as a Data Analyst to go and work as a Cowboy in Wyoming. He looks forward to it every year because he can meet up with his close friend Ennis. The fun those guys must have.....


Anyway, now Jamie is back he hope to have more regular updates. He has also kindly provided us with a photo of his trip.